the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
