the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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