i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
