I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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