I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
