How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
