Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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