butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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