I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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