the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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