I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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