There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
