just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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