all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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