I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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