38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
