The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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