Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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