Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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