i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
