Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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