The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
