Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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