Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
