I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
