Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
