I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
