Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
