yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
