i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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