she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
