Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
