Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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