Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
