Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
