My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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