We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
