to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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