So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
