So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
