At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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