More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
