I bet he comes in French.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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