OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
