ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
