No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
