**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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