How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
