How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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