I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
