Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
