i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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