Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
