The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
