I'm going to jail i love you
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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