Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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