So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize