New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
