Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
