Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
