is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Barsexuality is the new black.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
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Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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